RELATIONSHIPS- 12 Tips to get what you want!

Relationships- They are often so tricky! But whether you are single or in a relationship, our relationships tips can help you. These tips can also be used for friendships, family relationships and more. Coming from our top relationship and love coaches, here is how to get better results in all of your relationships!

1. FIX ON YOU AND YOUR NEEDS

If you are already wondering when we will get to the part about the other person, then please be patient. Because the most important person in any relationship you have, is YOU! Without you, there is no relationship to discuss here. Make sure that as much as you can, every moment of every day, you are doing things for you, the way you like them. Things that make you happy. Things you do to look after yourself and your interests. If you don’t come first in your relationship with yourself, how can you expect anybody else to love or respect you with full abandon? Give yourself what you want in life as much as is possible.  Treat yourself the best way you can and others will do the same, if they are worth the effort! It’s never too late to add more you time into your schedule!

2. TOGETHER IN RELATIONSHIPS!

Understand that to cement a relationship, even to make it stronger, that teamwork is essential. You can do this by allowing people in any of your relationships, to think and talk as part of that team. Rather than this being a “them and us” scenario, consider that ideas are just being put onto the table. You both analyse them and both parties in the relationship decide what to do- together. Coming at issues this way and planning on presenting them as such can be very helpful. After all, following our point number 1 above, you are such a great person! Why wouldn’t anyone want to be part of your winning team?

3. BE IN THE MOMENT

Whatever has happened in the past is now in the past. It is the current moment that matters and what will happen moving forwards. There is rarely any point in dragging up the past, unless its to recount a happy story or a funny or sweet memory. Digging up the past can drag people right back into it! Thinking about one incident in the past leads to more thinking about the past, perhaps not even ion the direction you want! This can get out of control, and is often just where neither of you really want to be. So when thinking, think in the present moment and moving forwards. Forget the past!

4. KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT

Sometimes we can go through life step by step, until we come up against something we really don’t like. Then, we have to deal with it. But if we ask you the question, exactly what do you want from the other person in your relationship, do you know the answer? Can you give us that answer in a clear and concise way? It may actually be worth your while writing the answers to this question down. Is what you want feasible, possible and ultimately will have positive results for both of you?  And if the answer to that is yes, are you able to ask for what you want in an open and honest manner?

5. AND WHAT WILL YOU GIVE TO THEM?

Yep, this isn’t just a one-way street. Surely everything is equal. If the other person asks you for something in return, would you be willing? Of course you would! Then why not also get ready to ask them what you can do for them, or prepare something nice for them in advance. It might be just a note, a flower, an offer to do something for them. But if you are going to ask for something important, than have something you can offer back in return at the ready!

6. CREATE A SAFE SPACE

To truly get what you want in a relationship, this has to happen in a truly safe space. You cannot achieve it by begging, threatening, yelling, silence or repetition. That means if the other person gives you what they want, they will not be doing it with free will and with a kind, open , loving heart, with a true will to do this thing for you.  There also should not be interruptions if possible. Nothing must be rushed.  Gentle lighting, a nice atmosphere and good energy are all far more likely to get you what you want!

7. POSITION IS IMPORTANT

Sitting directly opposite a person is not as conducive to getting what you want, as sitting beside them with an open posture. Leaning back in a relaxed manner, feet towards them, arms and legs not crossed is great if you can position yourself like that at a table, or an adjacent chair. Being able to look at them in a comfortable position is also important. So, sometimes sitting side by side can be awkward. Again think this one out as part of your safe space too!

8. THE REAL YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Yes, this may seem like an obvious one. But sometimes, we simply are not our true, kind inner selves when we are with another person. For some reason or another, we feel nervous, stressed. This may be out of control, but sometimes we can even like we have to put on an act. To impress, to get the upper hand, whatever.  To have an important interaction in any relationship, give yourself just two minutes beforehand. Shed the stress and the day-to-day baggage and centre on your true self, who you really are. The Real YOU! Then be 100% honest. Tell it like it is and with who you truly are. And shine, you brilliant diamond!

9. GET READY TO BE VULNERABLE

Vulnerability is charming. We don’t mean crying or acting up. We mean genuinely showing your real, underlying and pure feelings and saying what you think. But to do this, you need to know what those are. They can’t be covered up with layers of chit chat, accusations or anything else. Saying “ I feel…” and then saying what emotions you are feeling is revealing your true self.  Talk about YOU and your feelings. Don’t talk for the other person or make assumptions.

Giving the other person a reason why you asking for something is important. In fact, did you know that in some earlier studies, 90% of people who gave a reason for asking a question  (even if the actual reason was a bit up in the air!) were granted with their request. Its just how the human mind works!

10. DON’T FORGET TO LISTEN!

Sometimes we can be so wrapped up in our own thoughts or with what we are planning on saying next, we can actually be less attentive than we should be to what someone else is saying.  Don’t do that. Once you start a conversation, give the other person their due. Listen with your ears, your eyes, look at their body language. Understand their reaction and what they are saying as fully as you can. If needs be, show this clearly by telling them you understand. Open body language and active listening also encourage the other person to carry on giving!

11. LINK IN ON SHARED VALUES

Lasting relationships are built on shared values. This means sharing visions, agreeing on fundamental important points, on specific values and more. These are the strengths of any relationships. You can use these points whenever you need them. If an argument is brewing, take things back to basics. Pay a compliment and talk about points and values you do agree on, to rebuild a basis. Then put the point for discussion back on the table.

12. PUT IT ALL TOGETHER

When there is something we really want in a relationship, we spend a lot of time thinking. And then, doing more thinking. But you can see by carefully planning how to ask for what you want and preparing yourself, you can up your chances of getting the results you want enormously. One final tip, don’t make a list and ask for too many things at once. Just go for one important thing you need. And if you get it? Then you know the method works and you can use it again to get what you want another time!

Need guidance in your most important relationships? Then get it with one of our genuinely interested and compassionate advisors. Whether you need insight on love, friendships or family, an empath who can tune into feelings, or life coaching to help you on your path, we have the right advisor for you and your needs.