Love is a many splendored thing! But does true love really exist? And if so, what is it? Find out here!
LOVE: DOES TRUE LOVE EXIST? IF SO, WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS TRUE LOVE ANYWAY?
Best friends, beautiful romantic lovers, a solid family unit, true love is simply what it means to you personally! But usually this means similar things for most people. Being able to receive and give love on an equal basis, mutual emotional support, and a willingness to help one another, even when times are tough. Trust, respect, honour, cuddles, physical contact, and more.
RELATIONSHIPS: – WHAT HAPPENS INITIALLY
When you meet someone you truly like, your brain and body take over. Different love hormones are released into your system giving buzzing feelings of excitement, of desire, of feeling at ease and satisfied with the other person at various moments. In fact, falling in love is not only an emotional experience, but also a whole series of chemical reactions which are beyond our control. This is why people often genuinely bloom when they fall in love: it is not only emotionally satisfying and frequently a roller coaster ride on the path to love, there is actually a lot more going on behind the scenes!
Over time, and as we get to know our new partners, the hormones which are emitted by our bodies change. Different hormones start being released. We also start taking things for granted, because we have already had the experience several times with this person, even though some of these elements can continue to make us feel satisfied and happy.
UNDERSTANDING THE SIGNS
Often the hormones that pour forth at the beginning of a relationship are so powerful that they are overwhelming. They are in fact “being in love” hormones! These make us so happy that it is even possible to ignore the signs that this relationship may not work out in the longer term. We may ignore the socks thrown into the corner, and perhaps find it charming! This is because our love hormones take over and we go with these good feelings rather than facing the facts!
Couples who are having an affair, often find these hormones last for much longer periods of time, even over many years, for several reasons. They may be doing something secretive. They don’t have to deal with the day to day life with each other. Often, they are still effectively playing the dating game. In these types of relationships, the love and excitement hormones just keep on coming!
THE SECOND STAGE OF LOVE
In what is considered a “normal relationship,” after the initial buzzing love period happens, we move onto the second stage. The initial hormones of excitement no longer function in the same way. They start to ebb, primarily because we have now had many different experiences with our now partner. This is where we start observing things in daily life that perhaps we didn’t before. This can take up to 3 years to happen in a relationship where the 2 partners see each other on a regular basis, or live with each other.
This is also the reason why in shorter term relationships, one person can simply just go off and leave the other person heartbroken. Person 1 has no more flow of these initial good vibe hormones. But, person 2 still does. Person 1 finds it easy to just leave person 2 and go into pursuit of happy hormones elsewhere. But person 2 still has all the feelings of love and all the hormones that go with it. They miss person 1 terribly.
CRUNCH POINT
One person often starts noticing the negative points of their partner. Then, these negative aspects begin to really cramp their style. Person 1 will inevitably start to raise questions or to ask person 2 to change something. The issue here is that person 2 has very often had the basis of these “issues” from the outset of the relationship. Person 1 was so in love they simply failed to notice, or didn’t mind so much. They just wanted their love to work out. This leads person 2 to retaliate as to why should they change?
Crunch point is now upon us. The question here is how willing is person 2 to change, in order to please person 1? This is the start of a potentially long term relationship. Give and take, willingness to support the other person when needs set in, become requirements.
WHAT MAKES LASTING LOVE?
For a relationship to work, what actually make a long term couple is usually one simple thing. And this is an agreement on their values, whether these are spoken or not. This can be based on simple as well as more important things. For example, if both people think leaving the top of the toothpaste off is fine, then there is no problem. If both people believe that each person can go out for a night with their own friends and leave the other person to their own devices, there is no issue there either.
Problems tend to crop up when one person “goes off the rails” of the agreement of the expected values. Now, here note the term “EXPECTED values.” Ok, so everybody is allowed to make mistakes. It’s one thing when person 2 makes a mistake and is remorseful towards partner 1, or tries to make big efforts to solve the issue. It’s another where Person 2 is not remorseful or even tries to justify their behaviour. Person 1 is then left in the cold. And, that’s where the issues really begin. A slippery slope that is generally going downhill. All of a sudden, the two parties do not agree on a basic value.
THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP
If you have felt yourself fighting against your own morals, questioning what you think is right or wrong, doing things against your better judgment, even spending time doing things you are not enjoying because of your partner, then you are clearly not in a good position. Yet, this is the very basis of being in the perfect relationship or not!
To enjoy the perfect relationship, the 2 people in it need to be synchronized. Clearly at times, both people will fall out of sync. So, it is the very ability and willingness to adjust and re-synchronise together that makes a relationship work in the long term. Notice though, how this give and take is based on agreed shared values. If one person simply carries on treading their own path, which is not in agreement with the other person, then the relationship is clearly in jeopardy.
SOUL MATES and MORE
Whether you believe in past life connections or not, the modern concept of a soul mate is a person who is your perfect other half and who compliments you perfectly. Ultimately if you wish to be in a relationship, then this is probably what you would ideally like. The key here though is to recognize this perfectly complimentary partner from the outset.
For those singles you know who are looking for love, the best advice we can give, is to assure you check on shared values from the outset, simply by asking some key questions. What is it that you want from your relationship? Do you believe fidelity is important and a requisite? Do you expect to have your own time outside of the relationship? And what would you be doing with this time? If you agree on these basic points and more which are important to you, than you are off to a shining start! This is something that could turn out to be the perfect love! It’s as simple as that!
YOUR PATH TO TRUE LOVE
Give this little written piece to anyone that has reached 10 years or more of a happy partnership and we doubt very much that they will disagree with what we have told you. So now you know the secret too!
And if you need guidance in your relationships and to see ahead as to what can happen, then our Psychics and Relationship Coaches are here for you whenever you need them 24/7. Giving guidance, clarity and insight on your path to happiness and inner peace.
